When The Voices Are Too Loud

Everyone’s got that voice in their head that sounds a lot like themselves. Some people might call it your conscience, or others might call it your internal monologue. This voice, it can be your biggest cheerleader when life is going your way, but it can also be your worst enemy during the periods of life that are hard. So how can someone navigate this voice when it is the loudest voice in the room?

When I was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety at the age of 14, I didn’t know what to do with this new voice I was hearing in my head. It was loud, and it filled my head with lies about what was happening in my life, and it filled my head with doubt about my ability to complete simple tasks day to day. I had trouble focusing in class because the voice in my head would run constantly with thoughts about what others thought of me, what my teachers thought of me, and how I viewed myself. Although this voice was consuming my thoughts, and it was overbearing at times, I tried to push it down. I tried to silence it. I tried to forget that my mind was racing with worse case scenarios.

How did I do it? I would listen to music, because hearing someone else’s voice instead of my own was freeing. I would take naps during the day or I would sleep for 8–10 hours a night so the voice was quiet. In college I tried caving into what the voice was telling me so that I could finally…